My ex’s partner is trying to co-parent with me — she has taken control of the group chat.

Title: Co-Parenting Complications: A Mother’s Frustration with Ex-Partner’s New Girlfriend

In an increasingly complex landscape of modern relationships, co-parenting can often present significant challenges, especially when new romantic partners become involved. A mother recently voiced her distress regarding her ex-husband’s new girlfriend, whose attempts to influence their co-parenting agreement have raised red flags for her.

The mother, who shares an eight-year-old son and a six-year-old daughter with her former partner, has been navigating the complexities of co-parenting since their separation four years ago. During this time, she has expressed consistent disappointment in her ex-partner’s commitment to parenting, characterizing his involvement as “flaky” and “sporadic.” This sentiment was shared in an online parenting forum, where she sought advice from others who may be facing similar situations.

With their children at center stage, the mother allowed her ex-partner to have overnight visits with the children, considering he was now in a stable relationship with his girlfriend for approximately six months. However, she implemented precautionary measures, including creating a group chat comprising her partner, her ex-husband, his girlfriend, and his mother. This decision stemmed from past experiences of verbal abuse and dishonesty regarding childcare arrangements, leading to concerns about both transparency and accountability.

Initially, the mother welcomed her ex-partner’s new girlfriend, regarding her as a positive influence. However, the dynamics shifted, leading to a troubling development: communication about their children had begun to pass through the girlfriend rather than the father himself. This change proved to be frustrating. The mother noted that the girlfriend’s messages had taken on a passive-aggressive tone, making it increasingly difficult to arrange co-parenting logistics.

In her quest for solutions, she received a mix of responses from forum members. Some commenters recommended reverting communication directly with the father, while others suggested utilizing email for a more permanent record or even looking into specialized apps designed for co-parenting communication.

The situation escalated when the mother discovered that the new girlfriend had effectively moved in with her ex-husband—living together for three months without her knowledge. This revelation intensified her frustrations, as she grappled with feelings of betrayal, particularly regarding the girlfriend’s unsolicited involvement in parenting discussions.

Commenters expressed alarm regarding the lack of transparency within the relationship, asserting that dishonesty could pose serious long-term implications for both co-parenting arrangements and the emotional well-being of the children involved.

Ultimately, this case underscores the nuanced challenges that arise in co-parenting scenarios, especially when new partners enter the picture. It serves as a reminder of the importance of maintaining clear and direct communication channels, particularly in matters concerning children, to safeguard their interests and ensure a stable environment.